Saturday, September 12, 2015

Can you hear me now?

Ya know that feeling you get when someone yells at you and it makes you totally want to help them?











Or what about those times when you make a mistake and everyone belittles you and it makes you really want to be friends with them?

NO.

Nobody feels this way.

Imagine what it must be like to be on a school board.

They volunteered for this because they want to help kids. This isn't their real job. They don't get paid for the hundreds of hours they spend working for our schools. Education is not typically their chosen profession. They really have no idea how a school district is suppose to be run. They are put in charge of keeping the superintendent and district in check, and yet all the information they are given in order to do their job comes strait from the district.When something goes wrong, they get all the blame. Angry citizens pack the board room and take their two minute turns to complain and express frustration. They get emailed all day long about every problem big and small. When they don't respond people get mad. When they do respond, people get even madder. They can't win.

Now imagine you're a member of Pasco's school board.

It must really suck to be them right now, right?

So let's just give them a break. They are trying their best, so let's just leave them alone and move on.

Just kidding!

They signed up for this, and volunteers or not, they have a job to do and it's our job to make sure they do it! We've already agreed, however, that yelling at people and belittling them isn't the way to win friends and influence people. So how do we make friends with the school board in order to gain their trust and help? I'm glad you asked.

Let's take take a look at a few simple steps to improving our communication with the school board.  WARNING: it's not always easy to do things the right way.
 
Step 1.
Remember the school board are all volunteers. So like it or not they need to be appreciated. They are taking time away from their families so we need to show them we are grateful for their efforts.  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

Step 2.
Nobody likes to be yelled at. Ever. So stop it. No matter what.
You catch more flies with honey, so try saying something nice. Perhaps serve them up a nice compliment sandwich:  compliment/criticism/compliment.
It goes like this, "I appreciate the time you have volunteered to serve our community/ but I don't think you are doing the right thing by refusing to participate in contract negotiations/ and I believe you have the integrity to make a better choice in the future." See, wasn't that fun? Now you try.

Step 3.
Keep in mind that this isn't their area of expertise (but they may not know that), so instead of criticizing their mistakes, use it as a teaching moment. Assume that they just don't know why their choices are wrong, and use your knowledge to help them understand the situation better.

Step 4.
Just like candy, nobody feels good taking advice from strangers (unless you are taking advice from me, that is okay to do). So if you aren't already on a first name basis with the board members, this may not be the best time for you to be trying to call in a personal favor. But it's never too late to try, so start today to get to know them. Email them, tell them who you are and what you  would like to see for the district.

Step 5.
Be patient. As someone who gets a lot of fan mail (and a smidgen of hate mail too), I can tell you that it is impossible to respond to every email I receive. So if you email a board member and they don't respond, that doesn't mean they didn't read it. And if they do respond and it looks like a form letter, don't take it personally.  Go back to step 4 and keep building that relationship.

Step 6. The board members are real people with real families. If you see them in real life, be nice. Ask how they are doing. Treat them like a human.  People will usually live up to your expectations (unless they are psychopaths or evil geniuses), so treat them how you want them to be.


The school board has to meet inside that awful bastion of doom we call the Booth Building. It must be horrible for them to be in that dark place for hours at a time. And while they are in there, they are getting their heads filled with whatever half-truths and misdirections the district sees fit to feed them. Speaking of feeding, they also get a lot of cake!


Picture for a moment two scenarios:

Scenario ONE: You are in a room full of women (group one) who feed you cake, tell you you're awesome, and then ask you to autograph a bunch of papers that have no real meaning to you. Group one tells you a bunch of "facts" including telling you that group two is just angry and uniformed.



Scenario TWO: You are in a room full of angry citizens (group two) telling you how wrong you are and demanding that you answer a bunch of questions for which you have no answer. Group two also tells you a bunch of facts including telling you that group one is made up of people who are either completely incompetent or evil geniuses.



Group two might be telling you the truth, but if they do it in a loud and angry way it might be a hard truth to hear. Group one might be telling you a lie, but they are saying it with cake and that is hard to argue against.

It would be nice if we could just snap our fingers and get the cake-eating zombies to wake up, but that isn't going to happen.




The point here is that if we are ever going to convince the board that the thousands of us are telling the truth and that a few in the Booth are lying, we are going to have to say it nicer than that.

Is it easy? No. Being a grown up rarely is.
But it is the right thing to do. And we are right, so let's act like it.

1 comment: